From ‘yes’ to ‘I do!’

For some reason or another, many of my friends’ boyfriends have chosen 2011 to be the year to pop THE question. One organized a surprise birthday proposal, the other planned it amidst fields of beautiful tulips in Amsterdam, another caught her by surprise as they were cycling by the sea… One of my gal friends even gets to pick her rock before the official proposal!

So what is the most common response to your engagement announcement? Well, I’ve observed that after the ‘oh my god!’, ‘congratulations!’, and ‘how did he propose?’, the responses that follow can either be:

Questioning – ‘When’s the big day? Where is it gonna be? Is it just church or will there be a luncheon? Or dinner? What are you wearing? Tube or toga? Who are you inviting? Have you thought of who your maid-of-honour will be?’ OR

Advising – ‘Ok, so here’s what you need to do. Decide on a date, and book your venue asap. Venues get snapped up like that.’ And with that snap of her fingers, you get jolted from engagement-cloud-nine back to wedding-planning-reality.

Chill, ladies – both Brides-to-be and well-meaning gal friends.

After all the ups and downs, tears and laughter, hits and misses, your dear friend has finally found the man of her dreams who loves her, cherishes her, and treasures her the way she is, and just said ‘yes’ to a happily ever after.

Brides-to-be – BREATHE. I still remember my own finger-snapping moment when I went from lala-land to ground zero. After relating my proposal story, my best friend matter-of-factly rattled off a list of things i will have to ‘worry about when the time comes’ – location, gown, wedding bands, photography, decorations, favours…and more… When i fell silent, she gave me a reassuring ‘Don’t worry dear you’ll get there! Somehow!‘ I froze, and freaked out.

Indeed realizing your dream wedding can be quite an overwhelming experience. The Happifiers found that these self-reflective questions are always useful for couples to think through and discuss, before even trying to answer the seemingly more important questions such as when, where, and how.

1. What does a wedding mean to you? Don’t be surprised by this deceivingly fundamental question. To some, a wedding is a once in a lifetime celebration and party with everyone they have met in their lives; for others, it may be an intimate affair with selected loved-ones. Is a wedding meant to be a gift for your loved one, a special day just about the two of you, or a tribute to your parents?

2. How will your ideal wedding be like? Think about this individually, and come together to see how similar – or different – each of your ideal weddings are. Dream big, suspend logic and practicalities, and see the sky as the limit!

3. What are top 3 things you can’t do without? Blue hydrangeas or red roses? Each look perfect on its own, but having both together? Not so nice. Trade-offs – it’s like a taboo thing to say in wedding consulting, but sometimes it’s for the greater good. It’s only natural for couples to feel like they should not need to compromise for their wedding. I bet if you were to make a list of things that you can’t compromise, they may easily be 100 items. Look at #1 to #3 – now these are the top 3 items that you have to hold on to regardless. These are the Must-Haves. Items #4 onwards are good-to-haves.

4. How about the opinions of your loved ones? Often times, weddings are not just for and about the couple. This is especially so in Asian cultures. Do suss out what are the boundaries or no-go zones for parents and grandparents. For example, no weddings in lunar 3rd and 7th months? Other wedding couples getting married within +/- 3 months of yours are not supposed to attend your wedding? Chinese-style wedding banquet a must? (There’s such a long list that this deserves a whole new post! We’ll share more tips so watch this space!)

Done with this? You’re another step closer to your dream wedding! Stay tuned to The Happifiers for more wedding tips! And chillax in the meantime! 🙂